Too Old for Home Ownership?

Since finding myself a single mother at age 42, I have spent the last eight years scrambling to make ends meet in order to support myself and my three teenagers. Even with regular court-ordered child support, the total income for the four of us ended up being less than half of what five of us had previously lived on.

Over the years I’ve refinanced my house so many times, I could open my own mortgage-paperwork consulting business. I know how to write the heartrending bad-credit explanation letter as well as the don’t-worry- the-children’s-father-is-an-upstanding-citizen-and-will-never-run out-on his-obligation letter. All this done to keep a roof over our heads, food on the table (most of the time) clothes on our back and gas in the car.

Now, with one daughter out on her own, and the younger two spending their last years in college, I find myself faced with an odd dilemma. This tiny house that I bought for the four of us and the place I expected to live out my “golden years” has suddenly become the albatross around my neck.

First of all, I admit to purchasing a “fixer-upper” ­— it was all I could afford at the time. Over the years I have vinyl-sided it, rebuilt the bathroom from scratch (after the floor under the tub collapsed), replaced a rotting deck, had pipes and wires run for a washer and dryer, fixed the furnace at least three times, replaced the sewer line; the list goes on and on. My kitchen suffers from no wall insulation (well, actually, no WALLS behind the cabinets) pipes that are in constant danger of freezing, cabinets that hang crooked, drawers that don’t shut, mysterious wall switches that don’t seem to operate anything and floors that participated in the same collapse that doomed my bathroom. I had hoped that by the time my children aged out of child support, the house would be in good enough shape to stop spending extra money on it, and I could comfortably live here, earning equity for my retirement.

However, after the motor in my fairly new washer and dryer combo burned out this morning because of faulty 220 wiring (and let me tell you, what a stink!) and the frame of my kitchen window disintegrated in my hands because of dry rot, I have to say, I am seriously wondering if I am too old for this home ownership thing.

Sure, with enough money I could hire someone to come fix the faulty electricity and replace the broken window. I could get my pot-holed driveway smoothed out, and even fence in my yard so my dog can run around a bit. I could bring my kitchen into the modern day, or at least, the 50s. But, currently, those things are just not part of the budget. I’m seriously thinking of putting the house up for sale. (shhh- don't tell the buyers what I just told you!)

But, where would I go? An apartment at first seems reasonable, except for the fact that I would probably be putting out the same amount of money monthly that I do now, and not having the benefit of owning the property, getting a tax deduction or building equity. And with only 15 years until Medicare looming over my head, and the scary stories about Social Security drying up, do I really want to give up this investment? I would be giving up the most valuable thing I own, leaving just about nothing for my children.

Of course, if I keep borrowing money against the equity in order to keep the house from falling down around me, will I really come out ahead? One of the realities of turning 50 is the expectation that at this point in life, debts and financial obligations are on the downswing. The 20-something loan officers considering my latest credit application have indicated that the underwriters have issues with my age, the impending end of child support, and my ability to take on a 20 year obligation.

And you know what? I’m wondering about it, too.