Hearing (electronic) Voices

I pride myself on the fact that, at my age, I am technically savvy, knowing my computer inside and out, and being able to assemble things even when the instructions are written in pseudo-English. My house is full of electronic doo-dads that dance to my command. (Well, everything except the VCR, which defiantly keeps blinking 12:00, 12:00, 12:00. The VCR’s days are number however, as I have just acquired a DVD player.)

I feel like an electronic Dr. Doolittle, able to communicate with all these electronic minions. My coffee maker beeps three long times when the coffee is ready, so does the microwave, but at a different tone. Two chirps at still another tone tells me that someone is trying to “Direct Connect” to me on my cell phone. Each of my online “buddies” has their own sound (and you – the one with the explosion sound – cut that out!).

Despite knowing the new electronic language, I was baffled when, one night last week, a loud beeping interrupted me. Five loud shrill beeps, and then silence. I jumped up to try and locate the source of the sound, to no avail. Of course, as soon as I sat down, it went off again. Having recently installed a CO detector in my house, I realized it was perhaps the only electronic voice I didn’t recognize. When the beeping repeated itself an hour later, I followed the safety instructions, opened all the windows, and took myself and the dog outside into the cold to await the fire department.

And the police.
And the ambulance.
And the gas company.

All these professional disaster teams came to the same conclusion; there was no CO in my house. No beeping had been heard in all the time they were in my house. I swear they were looking at me with THOSE eyes (see my entry about Becoming the Crazy Old Lady.)

So, when the same thing happened a few days later, I didn’t call anyone. I stared at the CO detector, trying to catch it in the act. Then, the beep sounded again, but this time, I swear, from a different part of the house. All this time, of course, no one had heard this beeping but me. My kids were now also looking at me with THOSE eyes.

Today, it happened again. This time, my daughter was home, and it was loud enough to make her hold her ears. I ran through the signal tests with her, testing both the CO detector and the smoke alarm – neither of which had the same pitch or pattern. As we were standing in the spot where she had heard it so loudly, we heard it again, this time, faintly, as if, once again, it had moved to the other side of the house. We both looked up to the ceiling, where the attic steps are. We both wondered if there is something in the attic making this noise. Something that is obviously MOVING.

Neither one of us has gone up there yet. We are just superstitious enough to be afraid that whatever IT is, it might be something supernatural and paranormal. Who says ghosts have to rattle chains? Maybe this is a modern ghost using modern technology. Or, it could be a rabid squirrel running around with an old beeper or cell phone in its mouth.

Whichever it is, I hope the batteries run down soon.

Humor
Daily Life