More Things I Shouldn’t Have to Put up With at My Age:

People who don’t do their job, then hide behind “procedure” as an excuse. Case in point, the Financial Aid office at my daughter’s college not processing her application form despite in person delivery, numerous phone calls and e-mails and then telling us the due date has passed and federal regulations prevent them from doing anything. They make the mistake, we suffer the consequences.

Companies and other people that one of the three adults in my household do business with or owe money to, who leave canned messages on the answering machine that don’t say who the message is for, what it is about, or even who the heck they are. Are we calling back? Not in this lifetime.

Cellular phone companies who tell you that your entire state is part of your local calling area and then bill you for local calls, telling you that your call went through an out of state tower – as if you have any control over where the signal goes. They then offer to solve the problem by giving you “free” long distance service, for $5 more a month and a year’s extension on your contract.
Large Swedish furniture stores who don’t tell you in their catalog or on their web page or in their kitchen design software program that unlike everything else they sell, kitchen cabinets can only be purchased through a special order placed with their kitchen design staff in the store. Trying to find out what the delivery time might be is a closely guarded secret, as the kitchen design staff only works 10-5 on weekdays and don’t answer their phone, meaning that even if you just want to know if ordering cabinets from them is even feasible, you have to take time off from work and then drive 25 miles to the store.

Home Improvement chain stores that are popping up every 5 miles but still don’t have stock of all the assorted pieces to finish a project. For example, selling a ready-made countertop in a certain finish, but not having the extra laminate pieces for finishing off the ends. Or, being the exclusive distributor for a certain pattern of floor tile, and not only don’t have it in stock, but are unaware of its existence. Or how about selling an unassembled cabinet with the wrong size doors in the box, and then telling you to return it, after you have put it mostly together then realized the doors were the wrong ones.

Non-custodial parents who cry poverty when asked to help fund their child’s college education, but ask this same child to continuously come over and babysit pets while they take vacations and overnight trips.

What A Sad Commentary This Is

I've just spent some time reading dozens of entries on the AOL message boards written in reaction to the story about the teenage boy who has been suspended from school after taking a phone call from his mother in Iraq. According to the school, it was the student's defiance and refusal to hang up that precipitated their actions. They even claim to be compassionate, stating that the could have had the student arrested, but didn't.

The statements on the message boards that I have read, range from some level-headed comments to inflammatory racist remarks. There are the "rules-are-rules" supporters as well as the those who doubt his mother actually was on the phone with him.

The sad commentary here is that this incident happened at all. Apparently, common sense flew out the window, and the adults involved escalated the situation until the student became understandably upset and "defiant." Expecting him to remain calm and rational in the face of irrational adult behavior is asking a bit too much.

Why is it we create these "zero tolerance" policies that remove consideration for mitigating circumstances? What a chance this school had to do a compassionate and enlightening thing. Instead of escalating the confrontation, what if the teacher had asked the student to move to a more private area to finish his call? What if the school administrators had used this as a way to begin a dialogue in the school about what stresses students are under because they have parents serving in the war? What if everytime a soldier parent called a student, the student reported to his classmates what that experience was like? And what if the entire student body, knowing which students were under this stress, got together to support them?

No. Instead we get a "rules-are-rules" reaction. We kick a student out of school, the very place where he could be getting the social and emotional support he probably needs at this time. How much better if this had been used as a teaching tool - if some sort of "punishment" is still demanded, what about asking the student to do something useful, such as start a support group in the school for students with parents in the military?

This school should reverse the suspension, the student should apologize for cursing at the teacher, and the entire school should spent some time examining exactly what this war is doing to families. Not all learning is solving problems in a textbook - sometimes the lesson is how we treat our fellow humans.

Another 50th Anniversary

With an official start of December 14, 1954, WHYY radio is a bit older than me - however, like me, they are taking this year to celebrate 50 years of existence. Originally started as an "education" station with a $50,000 budget, WHYY had grown into one of the leaders of National Public Radio. And while I am in New Jersey, their Philadelphia signal gets to me loud and clear. Their web page has an interesting timeline of the years since they went "on the air," and its a great trip down memory lane for those of us "of a certain age."

http://www.whyy.org/91FM/50/1950s.html

When All That's Left is Words

Years ago, I wrote the shortest of all my poems. It is perhaps the only one I can recite - either because it is short, or because, to me, it sums up so much of what has gone on in the world. And today, as I listen to rememberances of the Holocaust, in this the 60th year since the liberations, I hear my own words echoing in my head. I realize that it is the words that are left by those who live through horror, turmoil and trauma that stand as their legacy. A legacy that cannot ever be forgotten.

When I read that a 17 year old student has recorded the words of his grandparents, words they have only been able to utter in recent years - words they could not pass on to their children because the memory was too fresh - I whisper silent thanks that their words are being preserved. To read about this moving film, see http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/7747401/

I, myself, have spent some time listening to the words of other Holocaust survivors. Recently, my story "My Mother's Table," which grew out of the stories I have heard, the people I have met, and a gift from a friend of his mother's furniture, won an Award of High Distinction in the Tom Howard/John H. Reid Short Story Contest. I am humbled to find my words have been honored in this way. The story can be found online at:
http://www.nywriterscoalition.org/plum_biscuit/issue1/Prose/MyMothersTable.htm

Maybe after you read about this film or read my story you will agree with the shortest poem I ever wrote:

Aftermath

The pain
remains.

New Voices for the Over-40 Woman

Here is a start-up e-zine that deserves attention and subscriptions and is especially for women over 40. Tell them I sent you :)

http://www.styleandsense.com/magazine/